That Would Be A Good Band Name!

Lusty-Eyed Penguins

Hitler and The E-Z Bake Ovens

Natural Male Enhancement

The ‘Lil Plums

The Clairvoyant Octopods

Voyeuristic Hobos

Ubiquitous Steak

Small Talk with Strangers

Perpetual Pap Smear

Serial Arson

Jesus a la Mode

The Tacky Cat Attack

Ronald and The Reaganomics

The Preposterous Hats

Addicted to Whigs

The Angry Boner Association

Bearded Babies

Fjord Fiesta and The Swedish Cleavers

The Muffin Tops

Lumberjack Hipsters

This is What I Do: An Introduction of Sorts


     For the last few years, people have been saying things that sound like they could be a band name. I’ve been writing them down. That’s pretty much it.

     People frequently ask me questions like “Why?”, “What do you do with that extensive list of fake band names?”, and “This isn’t technically a question, but you look like an asshole.” In answer to those questions, I had planned to compile them in a Microsoft Word document, ship the document off to a publisher, and wait for the solid gold toilet paper to start arriving in the mail. However, I realized that was stupid. So then I sat around doing nothing with them for a while. I thought they would be forgotten, left to do whatever it is that Word documents do when no one is watching. Bocce, probably.

     Anyhoo, I recently discovered this thing known colloquially as “The Internets.” I had an epiphany. “Aha!” I said, to no one in particular (let’s say my cat), “I’ll make a blog! That’s what all of the fertile sex gods are doing these days.” This little page on “The Tumbles” (as I have just now decided to refer to Tumblr as (“Tumbles” would be a great name for a chubby little dog)) is dedicated to the purpose of presenting the world with the glorious eye-feast that is my list of fake band names. Some of them are funny, some are gross, some are awesome, and some may already be the name of a band.